The Night Before

Although my journey to Guatemala will not begin until September 17, I am keenly aware that the new "beginning" that I am seeking will begin the minute I step away from my apartment tomorrow and realize that my belongings exist in the three bags I will carry with me. 

I am not afraid, not scared, just eerily calm. My anxiety this past week surpassed anything that I had ever felt before, inasmuch as I was so anxious that all of my dreams were realities from my past. Experiences, conversations, movements, situations. Strange, really. 

And at 2:40 AM I am putting the finishing touches on the apartment--oh, it is so clean. The subtenants will just love it. And me, well, I am too awake to be still. 

"The best way of preparing for the future is to take good care of the present, because we know that if the present is made up of the past, then the future will be made up of the present." 

So I will sleep my last night here in Brooklyn in my apartment. Upon awakening, I will feel the slow process of shedding beginning. And I can't wait.